How a minister tried his best to solve the fuel crisis, was bitterly disappointed, and put his trousers back on.
This is extremely serious, so no giggling at the back of the blog, please. On this superbly written site, we take everyone, even chronic old hasbeens like Zimbabwe's state security minister Didymus Mutasa, seriously. Mind you, this week it's been a bit difficult.
Many of you will have seen the honourable Didymus on television the other day. Many of you will have found him and what he said amusing. Many of you will have fallen off your chairs and rolled around on the ground kicking your legs in the air and howling with laughter.
If you didn't, and you read on, you will.
The story begins some weeks ago, when one of my local favourites, spirit medium Rotina Mavhunga, announced that Zimbabwe's fuel crisis was over, because she had found a limitless supply of diesel gushing from a boulder inside a hilltop shrine in Chinhoyi.
She shared this knowledge, and a bottle of what appeared to be diesel, with Didymus, who got terribly excited and rushed to State House to bring the President the first bit of good news for quite some time.
Mugabe played it cool. Instead of hastening to the scene, he despatched Didymus, plus defence minister Sydney Sekeramayi and home affairs minister Kembo Mohadi to work with the lovely Rotina on the project to flood the country with free fuel. But it wasn't to be quite as simple as that.
Rotina explained to the ministers that the ancestral spirits, who were providing the diesel, must be treated with due deference. Certain rituals must be undertaken. The ministers nodded wisely.
Thus, when visiting the shrine, the ministers ate only raw meat, wore shorts, walked in bare feet, and kept strict silence, in case on of them might disappear completely.
And it worked. When the ritual was over, Rotina produced a second bottle of diesel.
But - and if you have tears to shed, prepare to shed them now - it was the last such bottle. The rock produced no more. Proper investigation, perhaps this time with trousers on, proved that actually there wasn't a drop of diesel to be had for miles. No sign of Rotina, either, who wisely legged it to South Africa when everyone's back was turned.
All of this led to the sight of Didymus, fully clothed and shod, clambering to his feet in Parliament this week, and admitting that it had been a hoax. He explained: "There was diesel, it was coming from a mountain, but it had been put there by somebody." (My italics)
It is with such statements of the blindingly obvious that State Security Minister Didymus Mutasa leads us forward to the bright new future in the land we love. Brothers and sisters, we're in good hands.
Oh what a shame to the minister this clearly shows that they really do not know what they are doing they are running aroung i am sure my clever 3 months old baby can keep him busy running around picking her toys.
Posted by: man of peace | Tuesday, 02 October 2007 at 15:34
go diesel n'anga....give us more comedy lol. These guys are still living in 1976
Posted by: kunzima | Sunday, 21 October 2007 at 20:16