How to make a mint in modern Zimbabwe

While many of us struggle to get by, some people are quietly doing very well

Perusing some of my previous entries on this blog and on The First Post I fear I may have given my readers the impression that life for everyone in Zimbabwe is a constant struggle against poverty and deprivation. Not so. There's a goodly chunk of our population who are doing rather well.

For a start, they've just had a pay rise of some 600 per cent, lifting their total income to more than Z$35m a month. I'm not going to convert that figure into US dollars or pounds sterling, because in the time it takes me to work it out, our inflation rate of 7,600 per cent will have made the result meaningless. Let's put it this way. The salary for a member of this fortunate body of workers is currently five times more than the salary of a senior state medical doctor.

(Have you guessed who I'm talking about yet? Read on)

So who am I talking about? Who is having such riches poured on his head? Who is getting a slipped disc from carrying around all that cash? Yes, of course, you've guessed.

It is your own neighbourhood spy. Your local secret agent. The nice man hired by Robert Mugabe to keep an eye on you, and beat you up or kill you should it become necessary. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you - the only big spenders left in this country today - the members of the Central Intelligence Organisation.

Yesterday a CIO operative - one who still clings to the remnants of his humanity - showed me his new monthly payslip. It is made up as follows:

Basic salary:  Z$15m.  Transport allowance Z$4.5m.  Housing allowance Z$5m.  "Risk" allowance Z$3.5m Entertainment allowance Z$10m.

What?! I hear you cry in anguish. No clothing allowance? Well, yes, actually there is a clothing allowance. CIO thugs get vouchers to buy a new suit every two months and a pair of shoes every three months. Quite right too. You can't have state murderers walking around looking like...well, murderers.

There are currently 20,000 of these grim goons earning this kind of money, and soon there will be an extra 5,000. There's a recruiting drive on to make sure Zanu-PF has enough muscle to fight the forthcoming - and of course scrupulously fair - elections.

So, young men, this is your chance. A bright and lucrative future awaits you in the CIO. Grab it now. Because for the rest of us here in Zimbabwe, there is no future at all.

Comments

[buy generic viagra]

Although little is known about the invention of Texas hold 'em, the Texas State Legislature officially recognizes Robstown, Texas, as the game's birthplace, dating the game to the early 1900s.
After its invention and spread throughout Texas, hold 'em was introduced to Las Vegas in 1967 by a group of Texan gamblers and card players, including Crandell Addington, Roscoe Weiser, Doyle Brunson, and Amarillo Slim. Addington said the first time he saw the game was in 1959. "They didn't call it Texas hold 'em at the time, they just called it hold 'em.… I thought then that if it were to catch on, it would become the game. Draw poker, you bet only twice; hold 'em, you bet four times. That meant you could play strategically. This was more of a thinking man's game."

[sildenafil citrate]

Einer Elhauge is guest-blogging over at Volokh, and raising a bunch of interesting questions. One post draws a parallel between ELS and sabermetrics, leading one (clearly Boston-based) wag to ask, "if empirical legal studies are like sabermetrics, who is the legal equivalent of Joe Morgan?"

I'm not touching that one... But, in the spirit of the (baseball) season, I'd offer the following instead. Empirical researchers are taught early on to beware of selection bias -- drawing incorrect inferences from data which are nonrandomly sampled from a population. (An example would be concluding that early humans lived predominantly in caves, on the basis of finding paintings, remains of fire pits, and so forth there; because such artifacts are more likely to survive in caves than elsewhere, the available archaeological data are subject to selection bias). We also learn that there are ways of dealing with such data, including the class of "selection models" first developed by James Heckman.*

[vimax]

For emphasis, Ms Smith's like-minded witnesses all said their piece from behind bars. My only worry is that in the shadows behind kindly and well-meaning people like Sue Smith lurk looney terrorists willing to kill human beings on behalf of animal rights.

[naked celebs]

For emphasis, Ms Smith's like-minded witnesses all said their piece from behind bars. My only worry is that in the shadows behind

[round and brown]

I'm not touching that one... But, in the spirit of the (baseball) season, I'd offer the following instead. Empirical researchers are taught early on to beware of selection bias -- drawing incorrect inferences from data which are nonrandomly sampled from a population. (An example would be concluding that early humans lived predominantly in caves, on the basis of finding paintings, remains of fire pits, and so

[black porn]

I'm not touching that one... But, in the spirit of the (baseball) season, I'd offer the following instead. Empirical researchers are taught early on to beware of selection bias

[jordan retro 11]

The time of life is short ; to spend that shortness basely, it would be too long .Do you think so?

[coach purses]

that's not where you want to be
everytime you hear the rolling thunder
You turn around before the lightening strikes
And you could find a rock to crawl right under

[Stylianos]

In case I fail to find some film or music, I use http://www.torrentbasket.com/om-shanti-om-dvd torrent search engines, because in torrents format one can find rather rare film

[viagra online]

Not only is there a cromulent looking bistro with frisee and lardons etc etc, but sushi that looks like it might not kill you.
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

[dating]

Can anyone tell Movies where a lot of things about love, emotions , and dating is brought out between the boy and girl and said in a great way... thanks :)

[cheap ugg boots]

Your blog is so funny that I can not help to finish it front and back. It is of help during my boring work.

[carl]

ewqtrwertreyeyey

[Generic Viagra Online Blog]

This tittle about Zimbabwe remeinded me my last travel I was there for a week and that country is beautiful, besides we get into tour through the jungle it was the most exciting experience for me.

[Kamagra]

this suck men, how can is possible that someone can survive with this ridiculos amount of money? it's terrible really terrible, this is the result of the corrupted government.

[coach outlet]

This was an age of innocence and happiness.*

[cheap ugg boots]

Bien que vos articles. Certains cacographie

[timberland boots sale]

the music you listen to all influence the way you think and feel about yourself and the world around you.

[cialis generic]

Please inform me when you update the story.

[cheap timberland boots]

Recognized praise and encouragement, can become a genius idiot, negative criticism and satire, genius can become an idiot.

[Supra TK Society]

Please do not criticize never deny the irony, believe all are important, keep in mind the hearts of the Buddha to ask.

[Generic Viagra]

This is way too beneficial for me! Many thanks for sharing this…since few days I have been looking for this information. Now, I can begin my project on the same topic..i shall share further information with you. Thanks once again…

[Bali Flight]

There always balance for salary in each country, I believe more salary you get more bigger your expanse

[cheap uggs]

Ambition is nothing but the memory of the slaves, to the birth of a vibrant, but it is difficult to grow.

[manolo blahnik]

so pretty.You are a good teacher. Lucky student!